school field trip

i've been meaning to put up pictures from the last kindergarten school trip--Lunken airport. it's a private airport in cincinnati and the husband of the school owner is actually a private jet pilot. they take weekend trips to south america and day trips to florida--very trump-ish :) i asked him how much it costs to charter a plane. $1600 an hour. holy crap. i was thinking of how i could justify paying that much per hour for anything, let alone a luxury airplane trip. ok, so check it. from cincinnati to chicago is about an hour flight. technically speaking, if i wanted to fly our family there, i could expect to pay a minimum for $250 a person, right? AND cincinnati is the most expensive airport in the whole country (no really, it is: look) so it would probably be more like...$500 a person. 5*500 = 2500. so REALLY, a one way flight to chicago would be cheaper than flying with a commercial airline. no? okay fine, i tried.

anyway, so these kids actually know way more about airplanes than i do. they knew all the part of the plane, what the different wings were called...i guess that check i pay the school that rips a new one for me every month is going towards something. artin had a great time, got to sit in an actualy plane and "drive"...very cool for a 5-year old obsessed to all things locomotive.

driving to the airport, in the car:



when they got a little too rambunctious, we played a really fun game called 'who can stay quiet the longest' and 'whoever finds the letter Q first on road signs can talk'...it lasted about three beautifully peaceful minutes :)

learning all about the parts of the plane:


i don't know how they didn't fall asleep, that shit was boooooooooring!! i kept fidgeting and i'm 30 fuckin' years old!

so there was a plane that two mechanics had gutted out and they were fixing the engine, which meant lots of screws and engine parts were scattered (albeit in a orderly fashion, but scattered nonetheless) around the underbelly of the plane. they asked the kids to please be careful not to touch the screws and mess it up, which in kid talk means go crazy. a little bit of the crazy:


artin's kindergarten class:


we just finished another field trip to the museum. i'll post pics soon.

WTF, Dose 1.

hung like a horse? oh no. hung like an ox. because...damn.

how did i not know of this before?

and more importantly, WHY is it not a national phenomenon? or is it, and i'm just out of tune?

please meet my new best friend:


long story short: you squirt isotonic saline solution up one nostril, and squeal with concurrent disgust and delight at the rinse coming out of the other nostril. maybe the squeal is just me. but you know how people compare great things to sliced bread? well, THIS is going to be my analogy instead of sliced bread. because bread? fuck it. i don't need it sliced. but this? this is everything i love in orifice-cleanliness (yeah, i said it. orifice.) packaged into a sinus cleaning, mucus clearing little miracle disguised in a squirt bottle.

you know who will love this? ario's mom. i can't wait to buy one for her. and i will continue to forge my place as her favorite, above ario and hopefully one day above arash. one day, one day. :)

oh, and you know what else? i'm addicted to this. like, i do it, and then five minutes later, i think i should do it again. i asked artin to watch me about 20 times before he gave an exacerbated sigh and said "Okay, but just ONCE mommy, OK???" speaking of, they have a kid version. i will get that kid hooked on this shit too. we'll be saline squirting bums together. hey, of all the things you could squirt up your nose, i'd say a little saline solution is the least of all evils.

so. let's try out my new analogy reference.
omg, have you seen the bagel cutters??? they're, like the BEST thing since nasal irrigators!!

in this case, it works even better than sliced bread, because bagel cutters basically slice bread, so you would say "hey, this bread slicer (more or less) is the best thing since...sliced bread." just sounds dumb.

nasal irrigation wins. hands down.

sick.

ugh. the last week has been shitty to say the least. not only did i give up the most perfect little golden retriever puppy that has ever lived, but all three kids were sick. as in SICK. avisa had a fever of 105, niek's peaked at around 103, artin had earache and sore throat. it was a mess. they're at the point now that minor aches and runny noses are nothing compared to the germ-infected beings they were just four days ago.

and now it's my turn. my eyes are watering like crazy, my nose is all stuffy--which begs the question: do i take antihistamines or a decongestant?? antihistamine would stop my watery eyes, but would also stuff my nasal cavity more. decongenstants could get my nose cleared up, but then my eyes would turn into spigots. i would say a time like this is as good a time as any to take up heavy alcohol consumption.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

we had the first real snowstorm last week, about 10 to 12 inches in a two day period. schools closed, my work closed...it was yet another bit of evidence that i should not work and stay home. i managed to make the day semi-educational too. kids learned that you can eat snow if it's fresh and not yellow (or brown, as Artin diligently pointed out *every* single time they grabbed a handful of snow..."It's not yellow, OR BROWN!!!") Yeah, Avisa might have a poo fetish, but Artin and Niek don't.


Not. Going. To. Work...


See how Ario's car has no snow on the windshield? he left it ON. for like, a whole hour. why? because he was too damn lazy to scrape off all the ice underneath the snow. we live in a very environment-conscious neighborhood. they probably all hate us, and if it wasn't such a waste, would probably toilet paper our house.

DIE YOU UGLY TREE-BUSH, DIE!!!!
(it hasn't yet).

Avisa touched snow and freaked out, so she didn't spend too much time playing outside. Niek kept taking off his gloves and crying because his hands would get cold. He eventually figured out that he can play with snow AND have his gloves on at the same time. He's a genius, that one.



Take note of our neighbor shoveling...he is an overachiever and you will soon see why.


Artin offering me a "stick popsicle"

Eventually the kids were worn out, so we came inside, had some cookies with hot chocolate and watched Horton Hears a Who.

The little girl is the ADORABLE Xavier, Niek's friend.


Okay, do you see OUR sidewalk? It is shoveled to the exact width of the shovel. I did not feel the need to shovel the whole damn sidewalk. Overachieving neighbor, however, DID. He shoveled his whole driveway too. I told him I would gladly do some *extra* shoveling and move snow onto his perfectly salted, cleared sidewalk.

Avisa, waiting to get some grub:

little fishies

artin and niek take over my camera

every so often, i start taking video with my camera, only for it to tell me "memory card full" after about 15 seconds. this usually puzzles me, as i tend to dump pictures and empty my memory card pretty regularly.

but every single time, it's because artin and niek have decided to get camera-happy, snapping pictures of everything from the wood floors (which need to be mopped) to a close-up of the carpet (which definitely needs to be vacuumed). there's pictures of the rug, nostrils, toes (lots and lots of toes)...



pretty much of everything in the house except the people that live in it.

rarely, however, i get a few gems. you know, of faces and stuff.




and lookie, one that can even pass as artistic:


...kinda.

what i won't be able to document with pictures are the times that my battery runs out unexpectedly because of their zealous photography. such as the time we went out for avisa's 1st birthday. yup, nooooooo documentation of that milestone birthday at all. she can thank her brothers for that, probably by throwing them one-handedly against the wall (and most likely denting said wall).

One of these days, Artin will kick your ass.

He is no longer just a white belt...he is white belt with a purple stripe. Technically it's still a white belt, but i think they figured that if they kept a kid in the same damn belt for two years, you wouldn't be able to tell who's been doing Karate for two weeks or six months. and if i were a kid, i would lose interest.

Hey...who's the ONLY KID sitting down??
Yeah, conformity will probably not be a problem with him. Artin does his own thing. Always:

Some serious wax-oning and wax-offing:

Artin getting his name written in Japanese on his new belt by Shihan Nishime:

Yay!